This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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