elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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