google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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