sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
