Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
