Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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