One girl and one boy is just not enough.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
