your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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