I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So squirting runs in the family.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
