I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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