I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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