suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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