I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
