His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
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Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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