she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
