I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
