I feel great
I just peed on a car
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
