You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
