I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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