Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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