ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
