if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
