Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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