there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
