On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
