Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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