brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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