Can i not drive my cunt home
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
