I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
