you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
