Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
