Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize