White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
