at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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