Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
