Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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