apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
