Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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