We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I smell stomach acid.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
