i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There r osticjed everywhere
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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