And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
