I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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