It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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