You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
