# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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