Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's the barista slut.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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