I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
