Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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