i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
