Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Omg I joined a choir last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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