If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There r osticjed everywhere
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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