The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize