So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
