just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
